Blame It On Bad Luck
by The Lady More
Summary: What if John was the one harpooned in "Stadea" instead of Rodney? While he manages to escape with Rodney he cannot help but feel guilty for leaving his teammates behind. Written for Sheppard H/C summer exchange.


_**This fic was written for both the Sheppard H/C exchange and this week's GW whump challenge. Thanks to the lovely Grace for Betaing.**_

_**Prompt:**__** Aftermath comfort/healing infirmary scenes**_

_**To Angstydaydreams, I know it isn't as long and epic as yours but I hope you enjoy doll =D *hands John, Steve and Danno Cookies***_

_**Disclaimer**__**: I do not own the original scene or the characters used. This is a reimaging of a famous scene in SGA.**_

Blame It On Bad Luck

_It seems that when I ran away from my past _

_all my dignity, my faith, my pride got left back. _

_And now I think it's time that I realize _

_self pity's meaningless. _

_Though I'm 10 feet deep, _

_I'll claw my way back out from in my grave._

_Pound my knuckles hard against the floor._

_My head against the wall._

_But I did this to myself._

_Assume it's just not worth getting back up,_

_So I'll blame it on bad luck._

_And I'll shake responsibility._

_And say a hard life did this to me._

_**-Bayside-Blame it On Bad Luck**_

John had to admit he was a walking case of bad luck. In the three years he spent on this expedition alone, he received a giant hickey from a Iratus bug, was shot by a few Wraith, had been bound more times than he could even count and almost did a Franz Kafka by turning into a bug. But with all his mishaps of bad luck, this had to top the cake.

On a mission to a new planet, the Colonel and his team had found a primitive village. They weren't even on the premises for two seconds when the villagers started to act up. The small crowd of locals drew their weapons and screamed "Wraith bringer, Wraith bringer." Usually John would tell his team to raise their weapons, but this seemed to be a different circumstance. It was probably because of the mere fact they had strange items in their hands. It wasn't the first time.

"Stand down," John said turning to face his team, "this is all a misunderstanding. They are probably afraid of us because-"

Before John could finish his sentence he felt a very sharp pain in his ass. Pain so sharp he felt dizzy to the point where he was seeing stars. His first thought was that maybe he had been bitten by an animal or something like that. He turned his head and saw it a large harpoon sticking erect from the skin of his buttocks.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" He screamed, pulling at the harpoon.

Grasping the harpoon with his hand, he tugged but before it even moved a centimeter, blackness overtook him.

* * *

><p>John woke a few minutes later. As he opened his eyes, he began to survey of his surroundings. From a plethora of brown and green tones, he could tell he was still in the woods, but something seemed strange to his fuzzy mind. He was moving, but his feet were not touching the ground.<p>

"Cool another flying dream," he mumbled deliriously.

"Nope, I have the burden of carrying you across the woods to the gate!" A familiar voice said as John suddenly realized he was being carried across the woods. It was harsh out of breath almost heaving as its owner took slow unsteady steps.

"Oh," He said slightly as he began to feel pain coming from his rear, "Am I dreaming I'm riding a talking horse?"

"Smartest man in the whole fracking expedition and I am reduced to a fracking talking horse." The man who was carrying him grumbled.

John soon realized he was being given a piggyback ride by none other than Rodney McKay. He had probably been rendered unconscious when he was…his still blurry memory struggled. He turned his head behind him, trying to remember what happened. Suddenly the light bulb turned on, he had been harpooned in the ass...

Only he would get such an embarrassing injury. But the Colonel inferred it probably wasn't a serious one. He could probably walk back to the gate and ignore the pain.

"Rodney you don't have to carry me," John said trying to get off Rodney's back, "It's just my ass, I can walk."

"Colonel I'm no Carson or anything," Rodney began, "but I even think that looks painful. As much as it is a burden to me, you should probably not be walking."

John let out a huff. He looked around for Ronon and Teyla, knowing they would back him up. His eyes darted in all directions only to see they were nowhere in sight. His heart began racing, causing the pain in his ass to escalate as the blood pumped faster.

"Where are Ronon and Teyla?" He asked.

"The villagers got them," Rodney responded.

John winced in pain and shock. They were captured! Only god knows what was happening to them and here he was helpless.

"We have to go back!" He hissed.

And as John began to thrash and claw at him to let him go, Rodney suddenly realized telling an injured John Sheppard that his friends were captured wasn't a good idea.

* * *

><p>"<em>Med team 1 to the gate room, med team 1 to the gate room."<em> Rodney's voice echoed through the PA system of Atlantis.

Elizabeth could hear John's loud angry roar from her office. She was immediately concerned. He was usually a passive person, but when things were beyond his control, most likely something happening to his teammates, John was known to blow a fuse. On impulse she ran to the gate room to see what the commotion was about.

The scene she surveyed from her usual high perch in the gate was chaotic. John was lying face down in the stretcher, thrashing wildly while men were holding him down.

"I HAVE TO GET RONON AND TEYLA!" He screamed.

"Colonel calm down! Major Lorne is already leading a team to rescue them," One of the nurses said as she prepared what looked like a sedative that was in the form of an injection.

Elizabeth ran down the stairs to get a better look.

"Dr. Weir," A voice she immediately recognized as Rodney's said as she got to the bottom of the stairs.

"Rodney what happened," She asked.

"We were attacked. Sheppard was injured after a harpoon got stuck in his…ass," Rodney began. As funny as an injury as it was, Elizabeth had to control her laughter as she watched the nurse inject the needle into John's arm slowly calming him down, "Teyla and Ronon were captured."

Elizabeth took a sharp breath and looked at John. If there was one thing about the Colonel she knew well was he always beat himself up over was losing other people. She remembered the whole ordeal with Ford and how he spent weeks beating himself up over it. She remembered even catching him crying over it once. John tried to hide the fact he was crying, but she could still see the pain in his eyes.

Ronon and Teyla were his friends, his closest comrades, and they were in danger. Despite a group of military men were filing up to lead a rescue, John felt guilty he left them behind and because of his embarrassing injury he couldn't help that. She could sense he feared being helpless to losing his friends, just as he was "helpless" to losing Ford.

And as John was wheeled away, the thought pained her.

* * *

><p>"What a mess," Carson said aloud as he surveyed the damage inflicted on the Colonel, "but compared to the other things I have seen happen to the Colonel, this is nothing."<p>

Elizabeth couldn't help but chuckle slightly, it was a true statement. While John Sheppard was leader of Atlantis, trouble seemed to follow him as if he were a magnet.

"What are you doing for him Carson," Elizabeth asked running her hands over her forearms as a gesture to comfort herself.

Carson walked towards the side and pulled over an IV bag to the Colonel's bedside.

"Well," He began as he walked over to the supply shelf pulling out a bag of a clear substance, "the bugger who shot the harpoon had pretty good aim because it looks like he managed to shoot the harpoon through the thickest part of the muscles."

Carson hooked the bag to the Colonel's IV stand before placing the needle that transported the liquid into the patient's body into his arm.

"Since it is in pretty deep, I am going to have to surgically remove it," He continued as he walked over to the tray full of medical equipment, "It's a quick procedure. I'm just going to a wee bit of tissue around the head of the harpoon to easily remove it, nothing to write home about. It could have been a more complicated and more dangerous procedure."

"When are you going to get it out?" Elizabeth inquired.

"Right now," Carson answered, "I am unfortunately going to ask you to leave Dr. Weir, for the Colonel's safety."

Elizabeth gave him a smile before walking towards the exit.

"Of course," She said, she paused and turned her head towards the Scottish Doctor, "just let me know when you finish, John could use some company."

"I will, love."

* * *

><p>John slowly opened his eyes. He felt like hell washed over him. He was tired and groggy and felt sore all over, especially in his rear end. It didn't help he was in an uncomfortable position on his stomach. He soon realized from the familiar sensation of being hooked up to IVs and the tube up his nose that he was in the infirmary. Why was he here again? Oh yes now he remembered. He got harpooned in his ass.<p>

He felt one hand running through his thick dark hair and the other run down his back. He groaned and turned his head to the side. He knew those hands well. He knew how they felt as they held his face, moved against his bare skin and held him close. Their owner was his strongest support on this expedition.

"Elizabeth," He said hoarsely.

Elizabeth looked down and smiled before bending down to kiss him on the forehead.

"Welcome back Colonel." She whispered in his ear, "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like shit."

She chuckled lightly.

"A harpoon in the ass could do that to you….at least that butt I like to stare at from afar is still perfect."

John closed his eyes and smiled slightly. No matter how awful he felt she always managed to make him smile. It was one of the many reasons he fell for her. But it didn't take the pain away completely. Guilt washed over him a gush of water to the face.

"It's not the harpoon Elizabeth," He whispered.

Elizabeth sighed and returned to running her hand through his dark hair.

"It's about Ronon and Teyla isn't it?"

John took a sharp breath and balled his hands into fists. It was the only thing preventing him from curling into a protective ball. Thankfully his position prevented that and the temptation of showing weakness. To the outside spectator he seemed be one of the most confident men to walk the halls of Atlantis. But inside he was very self conscious to what people thought of him. People on this expedition looked to him as their leader, their hero, even savior. He feared showing weakness to those that looked to him for guidance. Even around Elizabeth, he couldn't show it. Not now.

But it was hard to keep his brave façade. He may have been safe, but he was still worried about Ronon and Teyla. Were they safe here on Atlantis? Were they still in the hands of those savage natives? Were they dead? The thought caused John to bite his lip and wince.

"They are still out there aren't they?" John said ruefully.

"Teyla's safe," Elizabeth said, "Ronon convinced the natives to let her go."

He felt some bit of relief but had to ask "And Ronon?"

"We don't know where he is but we'll find him."

John sighed and turned away. Another man under his watch, gone and he could have stopped it. Another testament to the multitudes of destruction he caused everywhere he went. Everyone who dared try to get close to him was in danger.

"That's what I kept trying to reassure myself with Ford and look what happened."

Elizabeth frowned.

"Why do you do this to yourself John? Why do you always blame yourself when something beyond your control goes wrong?"

John sharply turned his head back to her. Usually he would keep silent; he didn't want his fears out in the open for the world to hear. But it seemed the morphine was blocking his mental filter, it didn't care what he let out into the open.

"Because it is my duty to protect this city, people look to me to protect this damn city. They look to me as a hero! Each man and woman that dies or is missing is another failure in the eyes of everyone who inhabits this city."

He paused as a tear he didn't catch fell down his eye.

"You know how much of a burden that is," He said with a cracking voice.

For the first time Elizabeth truly understood John. Beneath that laid back attitude and the strong man she knew so well was a man who lived life based on what others thought of him. A life of constant letdowns led to this; he had to live under a microscope. She slipped a hand under his chin and gently tilted his head to look at her.

"John, you are not Superman." She said, "You can't save EVERYONE. It's impossible! We lose men, it is unfortunate but as a military man you should know that it is beyond your control, not because of your actions." She paused to brush a tear away with her thumb. "But you shouldn't let their deaths be your failures. You have come a long way from just a disgraced soldier. So many times your actions saved the lives of hundreds!"

John closed his eyes for a moment and began to take in Elizabeth's words. She spoke just as passionately when she spoke to the people to Atlantis. As always, it strengthened and empowered him.

"Think about all you've done for expedition," She continued, "when Kolya and his men invaded the city you stopped them from taking control of Atlantis and saved my life. When the Wraith attacked a neighboring planet you managed to bring some men to safety. When Ronon had nowhere to go, you convinced me to take him in. When Rodney's jumper crashed in the ocean you found a way to save him. You are a hero John, you may not believe it but you are."

A weak smile formed on John's face as all his failures were replaced with his accomplishments. It reminded him why he enjoyed being a member of this expedition. It diminished the insecurities formed by a lifetime of losses and failures. Here he was accepted, here he belonged.

"Don't worry John," Elizabeth said running a hand through his hair, "we will find Ronon. But for now, just worry about getting that rather embarrassing injury of yours better. The sooner you get better, the sooner you can get back to being a hero. I will leave you to rest, but I'll come to check to see how you are."

She kissed him gently on the lips before making her way towards the door.

"Elizabeth," John said causing Elizabeth to turn her head to face him, "Thank you."


End file.
